Closet door, the dance mix

Ok. So we've already established that I am the champion of the "best person to come out to" contest, world division.







But what about those who swore they were straight? Maybe even contributed to the future generations of fruit fly queens, and queen queens? Let's look at case number 1, shall we?







In the late 80s, I became friends with one of my mom's coworkers. He was smart, funny, attractive, dressed well, and could keep up with my back and forth banter. Who could have guessed he was gay? (please note the intense sarcasm).



I hinted, he rebuffed. I hinted more strongly, he produced ex-girlfriends. Yeah. Accent on the EX. I don't remember if I flat out asked, but anyone who knows me will probably swear that I had to have done so.



Anyway, Mom and I finally decided that maybe he was just one of those rare straight guys that were just..you know. The term metrosexual had yet to be invented. (And how perfect is it that Metro is the name of our favorite drinking establishment?) He was either one of those, or he had changed his permanent address to the closet, no changes needed, thank you very much.







Fast forward a few years to me, in my favorite gay bar, with the manager who came out to me in my previous story. The bar was tiny. There was only one entrance, which the whole bar could (and did) see. After catching up with the door person, I headed straight to the bar for my vodka collins. As I stepped up to grab my drink, I glanced in the mirrored wall in front of me. An extremely pale, deer in the headlights look met my eyes. Mom's coworker. Smack dab in the middle of the gay central with nowhere to run. He slunk over, tail firmly between legs. After a short conversation, consisting mostly of ums and yeahs, hugs were had by all. The world was right once again.





Case number 2 began at Hardees. Yes, again!

While manager #1 was doing the coming out two step, manager #2, let's call him "Bob", was busy asking me if manager #1 was gay. In the course of working together, Bob and I also became close. I loved him dearly. He and I had the fun back and forth banter. We talked about music and singing. He played the piano, and his girlfriend sang. Together, they were responsible for the music at their church. A match made in heaven! But I thought he was gay. REALLY gay. Manager #1 thought so too.

Eventually, Bob and his girlfriend married and had children.

Fast forward to today, with me playing around online. I was looking at the facebook members who belong to one of the local churches. Oh, did I mention that the church is um..gay? Ok..a church can't be gay. But oh my Becky, the members sure are. So..as I scanned the member list, who did I spy but Bob! I sent him a generic message, basically just saying hello and how the heck are you. (Notice how I left out the whole gay part? That's me. Miss Full of Tact.)
He responded back, and we proceeded to trade messages, basically filling each other in on the past few years. He informed me that he has finally come out. Then he asked that I at least pretend to be a little shocked at that information.

So now, I've progressed to having THE TALK online. I guess that it could be considered closet exiting, millenium style.

My only remaining question is this. How can I possibly top the online unburdening of the soul?
Stay tuned to see, my fine feather boa'd friends!