Old friends

Now, before anyone says anything, the title of this post refers to former friends, NOT friends who might be ahem..of an "advanced age, shall we say. So just stop that train before it even leaves the station, k?

I started thinking of all of this for the same reason a lot of people are these days..facebook, myspace, and all of their cyberspace ilk. Since I've been using these electronic class reunions, I've both been contacted by and have contacted "lost" friends. It has been pretty interesting, to say the least.

The first thing I noticed is how OLD these people are! I realize that skipping a grade in elementary school makes me a year younger than most of my classmates, but WOW! There is no way I look like that. It was enough to make me want to check my class photos to see if I could "spot the fetus that was me" next to all of the older looking children. Those kids should have had mustaches, I say! I'm young, I'm vibrant. I'm lying through my teeth. Every morning, I wake up with enough chin hairs to rival any member of ZZ Top. (We won't even speak of the hairs on my head. Gray IS a color, just as round is a shape!)

I also noticed that, for the most part, these people have children. I know! Sweet, innocent youth are being reared by the same idiots who thought it was a good idea to drink Purple Passion and Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill at the same time! My teeth ache at that amount of sugar, combined with that amount of alcohol, combined with that amount of youthful stupidity. My brain boggles at the idea of the guy who body surfed his way through our French trip helping his toddler well..toddle. Does he have enough feeling left in his rock battered body to realize that coffee tables have sharp corners? (Sorry, Jeff!)

And not only are these same old old old friends responsible for the leaders of tomorrow, they are taking care of the leaders of today! They are teachers, nurses, even doctors! Eek! I am not, I repeat NOT taking my clothes off and showing my rice in an old sweatsock boobs to some guy that I can still, to this day, picture smiling his way through the 50s rock 'n roll medley while standing on those stupid, squeaky risers that somehow managed to be off-kilter but yet strong enough to hold 30 squirming, slightly off-key, ridiculously costumed youngters.

Wow. Now that I've used up all of that energy on that extremely run-on sentence, I think I'll save the rest of my thoughts for another day. In parting, however, I leave you with this thought.
In the very near future, our retirement homes will be filled with the tattooed, pierced, sour patch kids eating, jolt cola swilling, rap music listening people we now call our "old friends".